Words of Wisdom.....

[JB Martin]

1.) "We never knew Dad drank until one day he came home sober"

2.) "Your dog being your best friend may be mostly due to a lack of alternatives for each of you."

3.) "You may be quick on your feet but you can't outrun even the smallest explosion."

4.) "I meant to procrastinate today but I never got around to it."

5.) "If I had a dollar for every stupid thing I’ve done, it would have encouraged me to do a lot more stupid things."


JB

*The Wrong Fly Theorem: No matter what is hatching you will have the wrong fly in your box. The corollary is if you have the right pattern it will be the wrong size.

*The Dry Fly Theorem: Dry flies do not float, wet flies do. This is especially true when it is the last fly in your box that matches the hatch.

*The Last Fly Theorem: The fewer patterns of a fly an angler has in his box, the more likely he is to lose the fly(s). The corollary is the odds will increase on how soon the fly is lost based on the intensity of the hatch.

*The Hook Point Theorem: Hook points on flies no matter how you sharpen them are so dull you can't set them in a fish by pulling on the rod with two hands. The corollary is a fly that you try to catch when it is falling out of your fly box will bury itself in you finger up to the shank no matter how dull and rusted the hook appears to be.

*The 2nd Hook Point Theorem: The likelihood of you sticking yourself with a hook is directly proportional to your distance from a doctor and a tetnus booster. The corollary would indicate that the likelihood of you sticking yourself with a hook (or bing stuck by an errant cast) is directly proportional to the intensity of the hatch and the rustiness of the hook.

*The Spouse at Home Theorem: The more demanding your spouse is that you stay home and paint the house, wash the car, weed the garden, or create more offspring (pick whatever chore you like) the greater the intensity of the hatch will be. The corollary is the trout will all be rising within easy casting distance in direct proportion to the length of the chore.

*The Leaking Waders Theorem: The quality of the patch job you did on your waders is proportional to the temperature of the water. The corollary often called the crotch factor in the east and the soprano factor in the west and just damn foolish in Maritime provinces, states that the quality of the patch job is worst closest to the crotch.


-Mike Klimkos, Editor of Mid Atlantic Fly Fishing Guide, February 2010